Wednesday, November 17, 2010
~Sigh.. I'm not looking forward to seeing anyone at school tomorrow. The field trip was a complete disaster for me. I puit in so much effort into getting people to like me and be my friend. ~Something you might take a lifetime to earn can be gone in a second. Sad, isn't it. I was never a sporty or fit person. Some consider me a nerd. The field trip which to put exactly, was a hike or climb up a steep hill overgrown by trees and shrubs and what-nots. I couldn't climb it. I was to breathless at only 15% of the hike. I'm like so useless..~I hide behind a book all day. Think about starfighters from Star Wars and the Enterprise from Star Trek and imagine what would happen if the V came to Earth all day. I'm such a nerd. I can even tell you the parts of an X-Wing?!!! ~And what good does all that knowledge do?!! It doesn't help you to climb a simple hill? It doesn't prevent you from complaining and groaning throughout the whole hike? It's just where I go to to hide from the harshness of reality. ~Why the hell did I even react the way I did throughout the hike??? Why?!! I cannot answer. It's because I don't know.~Face it. I'm a whiny Sci-Fi nerd that people laugh at in terms of my fitness and my willingness to play sports. I hate sports. ~Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!! I hate this feeling. I hate this!!
~
I'm so upset with myself. I cannot be angry at my bestfriend. I can't! I'm like totally sorry for being a shit friend and an asshole, man. You are like the most perfect nerd I've ever met. You are great at everything unlike me. You know a lot about Star Wars, Star trek and V. You are good at running and mostly any sport. You have a never-ending group of friends on Facebook. I've only got 73. You are just good at everything! I'm not.~Perhaps I'm just a sucker who wants to be as cool and Jaina Solo one day without facing the fact that it might never happen. ~I'm a lousy friend. Everyone had to climb the hill to its summit. Everyone did it without much complaining. Everyone took pictures (good pictures) throughout the trip. Everyone did all that except me. I'm such a loser.~And I realised all that when I was lagging back, panting profusely and perspiring a hell lot. I thought about everything that occurred throughout this whole year. The new friends I've met. New Sci-Fi Fans I got a chance to know. Everything. I viewed everything from the outside. I saw myself as a dweeb. A nerd with no hope at sports and exercise. I can't even climb a hill. A simple nature reserve on a hill. ~I guess I pissed off all my friends and my Humanities teacher during the field trip. I can't go back and redo the past. Guess I'll have to continue from here.~I'll be myself. I'll stop pretending I'm a cool kid with many cool people worshipping me. I'll do my own thing. You like me: Good! You hate me: Too bad! I'll escape into my galaxy filled with discovery and hope and wonder. And who's to care? I'm me. I do it my way from now on. I show the galaxy (starting with Earth) that you can look down on a nerd but you can't stop the nerd from being better than you at almost everything!~Even if Joshua isn't going to be my friend any more. Who cares? Nothing last forever! You gotta learn that and just move on. I'm gonna do everything me-style! ~Tomorrow I'll read my Star Wars novel in the canteen when everyone is chatting away about things I'm not interested in. I'll continue to relate every comment I make in a daily conversation to something from Star Wars, Star Trek, V or Babylon 5. This Sci-Fi Nerd is gonna wow the world, not as a follower or a pretender to be cool, but as someone unique and enjoying life without a care in the world!~I'm gonna try! No.. Try not. Do or do not. There is no try. =)~School's going to be fun tomorrow. I WILL make it fun. This nerd's gonna show this world that what I lack in terms of sports and exercise, I make up for it with my knowledge in Science Fiction. Yea~!~Tomorrow will be fun! It will be. ~I'll be posting again soon. Goodnite everyone! -_-zzz
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Jasc's Paint Shop for supernatural abilities
Thankiee for an awesome year of fun and laughter!
